Saturday, May 26, 2007

5 mins ur true love will call u!!!!! Just tr

When u r online ...whose name do u look for first? when a slow song
comes on the radio-whose face comes to ur mind first? when u hear ur
phone
ringing who do u hope it is calling? whose name makes ur heart skip a
beat? in the next 60 seconds send this to all the people on ur list and
the person that u are thinkin of will do something special to show how
much they care about u! if i dont get dis back i guess ur not my
friend. If u have alot of love for someone copy and send to ur whole
list in
5 mins ur true love will call u!!!!! Just tr

Young girl shocks her dad.

Father passing by his teenage daughter s bedroom was astonished to see
thebed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an
envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was
addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and
read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I m writing you, but I m
leaving home.I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to
avoid a scene with Mom and you. I ve been finding real passion with
Randy and he
is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you ll like him too - even
with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it s not
only the passion Dad, I m pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have
the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is
much older than me (anyway,42 isn tso old these days is it?),and has no
money, really these things shouldn t stand in the way of our
relationship,don t you agree? Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns
a
trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
It s true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he ll be faithful
to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and
that s now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn t
really hurt anyone and he ll be growing it for us and we ll trade it
with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the
meantime, we ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get
better; he sure deserves it!!
Don t worry Dad, I m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I m sure we ll be back to visit so you can get to know
your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still
trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I m over at the neighbour s house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
my report card that s in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call
when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!!!

something with CON

An Indian discovered that nobody can create a FOLDER

anywhere on the computer which can be named as "CON".

This is something pretty cool...and unbelievable... At Microsoft the

whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!

So, inform about this to all your friends. TRY IT NOW , IT WILL NOT

CREATE " CON " or "con" FOLDER

Never Lose Ur Value...

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $500/- note in the room of 200,

He asked, " Who would like this 500 note?" Hands Started going up.

He said, " I am going to give this note to one of you But first let me do this."
He proceeded to crumple the note up.

He then asked, " Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, " What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground

And started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, Now all crumpled and dirty. " Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. " My friends, you have all learned a very valuable Lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $ 500/-.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.

We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or
what will Happen, You will never lose your value. You are special don't ever forget it!

Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.

wht happens if you marry a girl like...

SCENE: First night of the marriage.
The Groom approaches the Bride and proposes to
Kiss her. So
Let us see what would be her reaction...


#GIRL FROM DEPT OF PHYSICS:

> Well kissing is relative. You can kiss me with
Respect to me
Or with respect to you. First define how you
Are going to
Kiss.You can kiss me by treating me in the
Same reference frame as
You are or treating me in a different inertial
Frame by producing
Waves of motion through your lips. How do you
Prefer?

The guy faints

#GIRL FROM DEPT OF MATHEMATICS :


> Kissing is fine. You can kiss me provided you
Satisfy the
Following conditions :
> Necessary conditions: You should be close to
Me by a distance
Delta where delta is greater than zerO and the
Limit for delta
Tends to zero and you satisfy the closure
Property.
> Sufficient conditions: You should have lips.
Where the number
Of lips is neither more than two nor less than
Two. You can
Also kiss by defining your hand to be me if
And only if you satisfy
The above conditions.

The guy goes mad.

#GIRL FROM Computer Science:


You want to kiss me. That is fine I assume
> that you know the
Algorithm for that very well. But you have to
Complete the
Process within 56.22 seconds or else
Connection will be timed
Out. To optimize the timing lets do parallel
Processing. As we have to
Discuss about our future and other things, let
Us do the process of
Discussion foreground and why can't you put
The process of Kissing
Background?

The guy applies for divorce .


#GIRL from Electronics Engineering:

> So you would like to kiss me. The process of
Kissing is an age
Old communication process. The information
Content of the
Signal transmitted from one pair of lips to
The other is more if the
Probability of the event (of kissing) is less.
> Hence take
Care. If you want a successful communication
Between us,
You should kiss me less often. If the
Information content is to be
Infinite, you should never kiss me at all!

The guy is found hanging from fan next day.

Monday, May 07, 2007

10 commandments of an Engineering Student

The 10 commandments of an engineering student:

1. Study only during the preparatory leave.
2. ever write thy assignments ur self.
3. Begin writing thy journals only on the morning of submission.
4. Treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
5. Have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.
6. Pass GRACEfully.
7. Always be an OUTstanding student.
8. Give thy attendance without being present...PROXY is a MUST
9. Always sleep n laugh in letcures
10. If thou can't convince them , confuse them.

Story of a Young Man

A young man who went overseas to study for quite a long time.

When he returned, he asked his parents to find him a religious scholar

or any expert who could answer his 3 Questions.



Finally, his parents were able to find a scholar.

Young man: Who are you? Can you answer my questions?

Scholar: I am one of God willing, I will be able to answer your

questions.



Young man: Are you sure? A lot of Professors and experts were not able

to answer my questions.

Scholar: I will try my best, with the help of God .



Young Man: I have 3 questions:

1. Does God exist? If so, show me His shape.

2. What is fate?

3. If Devil was created from the fire, why at the end he will be
thrown

to hell that is also created from fire. It certainly will not hurt him
at
all, since Devil and the hell were created from fire. Did God not
think
of
it this far?

Suddenly, the Scholar slapped the young man's face very hard. Young

Man(feeling pain): Why do you get angry at me?

Scholar: I am not angry. The slap is my answer to your three
questions.

Young Man: I really don't understand.

Scholar: How do you feel after I slapped you?

Young Man: Of course, I felt the pain.

Scholar: So do you believe that pain exists?

Young Man: Yes.

Scholar: Show me the shape of the pain!

Young Man: I cannot.

Scholar: That is my first answer. All of us feel God's existence

without being able to see His shape... Last night, did you dream

that you will be slapped by me?

Young Man: No.

Scholar: Did you ever think that you will get a slap from me, today?

Young Man: No.

Scholar: That is fate my second answer........ My hand that I used to

slap you, what is it created from?

Young Man: It is created from flesh.

Scholar: How about your face, what is it created from?

Young Man: Flesh.

Scholar: How do you feel after I slapped you?

Young Man: In pain.

Scholar: That's it... this is my third answer, Even though Devil and
also
the hell were created from the fire, if God wants,God willing , the
hell
will become a very painful place for devil.



God said: "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you."

If you are not ashamed, pass this message on...only if you believe

VERY USEFUL INFORMATION

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.
Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for
survival. Check out the things that you can do with it: -

*EMERGENCY*


*I*

*The Emergency Number worldwide for **Mobile** is 112.* If you find
yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an
emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to
establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112
can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. **Try it out.**

*II*
*Subject: Have you locked your keys in the car? Does you car have
remote keys?*
This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone:
If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call
Someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone.

Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the
person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile
phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to
drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of
miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for
your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
Editor's Note: *It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car
over a cell phone!"*

*III*
Subject: Hidden Battery power
Imagine your cell battery is very low, you are expecting an important
call and you don't have a charger. Nokia instrument comes with a reserve
battery. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your cell will restart with
this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery.
This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.
AND

*IV*

How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits
on your phone:

* # 0 6 #

A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to
your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. when your phone
get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code.
They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief
changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.

You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that
whoever stole it can't use/sell it either.

If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing
mobile phones.

Please spread this useful information around.